Is my truth ‘Truth’?
Now you might be thinking to yourself “but there are times to be honest with people regardless of whether it is comfortable or not”. That compassion and friendship might demand we tell an uncomfortable Truth to someone. Of course there are.
I think that the first question is to ask yourself what kind of permission you have from this person. Do they tell you the truth; have they asked you to do the same? If you have talked about honesty with this person you could assume that you have more permission to bring up difficult topics. If you haven’t talked about honesty with them you might want to before launching into touchy subjects.
The Tower card speaks to me of the dangers you might find along this road. The Tower card is shown being struck by lightning and collapsing, casting out the people who were inside. It is a volatile and fiery card that speaks of the dangers of pride and the breaking down of the ego.
Now telling others what you think is true about them is always a complicated thing. When I have this urge I like to ask myself ‘to what end?’ Is it to help them? To help me? To vent frustration or what? If I find the motivation behind my desire points back to me I try and sort out what I actually need to say. This is a time to go back to using language that owns my experience and stay away from statements about others, especially ones that point the finger towards their failings.
Still there are times when we see something that another person might not see. The question to think about next is what will they get out of having their illusion removed and with what will I give them to replace it. We all have our crutches that we rely on to allow us to get through our lives. Having them removed by others’ words can create a whole spiral that might as easily take a person into despair as encourage them to grow. A good rule of thumb here is that unless you are sure you can replace their crutch with something better leave it alone.
If you look at Crowley’s Tower card a flaming mouth seems to knock the Tower down with its flames. Our mouths and especially our words can build and inspire as much as they can destroy. Sit with your Tower card and meditate on the times that others have shaken your faith in yourself with their words. For those ready to do some deeper deconstruction you might want to also meditate of what faulty blocks might be built into your tower.
Let me end with my favourite quote on friendship from Norman Douglas. “To find a friend one must close one eye – to keep him, two.”